It's Raining Supermen
by BatKate
Summary: Cassie would have enjoyed a nice quiet bachelorette party. Barbara and the ladies have other ideas in mind. And it involves man flesh. Written for day two of DC Marriage Week.


"You have nothing to worry about, Cassie," Barbara said, stirring her tea.

"Yeah, we're your friends," Raquel said, "Plus no guilt trip or anything, but since I never did get to have my own bachelorette party since the world was being invaded at the time …" She let the sentence trail off, looking up to the ceiling in false innocence.

"I'm just … I'm not the dance club type," Cassie said, "Can't we just stay in and have a sleepover or something?"

Her teammates around the table looked at her like she sprouted a second head. In the seven (nearly eight) years she'd been a superhero, she was used to those looks. Still intimating.

"Cass," Barbara said, putting down her glass, "Think of it this way — before he died, Ted Kord put away a special fund for Justice League parties. He specifically said that stag parties would be part of the fund … it's in his will and everything.

"Now considering your _fiance_ is a part of the Blue Beetle legacy, wouldn't you want to honor the memory of Jaime's predecessor?"

Cassie bit her lip. "Well … I mean, I _guess_ that makes sense."

"Of course it does!" M'gann smiled.

"And if you want," Barbara said, "we can go out for a little bit and then go back to your place and sleep over after. Right, girls?" Cassie's maid of honor looked around the table; all the other girls nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay," Cassie stood up, "that sounds like fun."

"Of course it does," Artemis nudged her shoulder. "It's just a little party, Cass. What could go wrong?"

* * *

"TAKE IT OFF!"

Cassie was too sober for this. For some reason, she hadn't thought to ask what club Barbara planned for them to visit. But how could she have known she would end up at The Bare Assets, which boasted hot male dancers on their front door. And sure enough, as soon as they walked in the door her eyes went straight to the half-naked men swaying on the main stage.

Not that any of the other girls minded. Like, at all. Raquel and Zee were already shouting for man flesh, M'gann was smiling behind her martini, Karen was getting out her singles, Artemis was skipping over to the bar to grab a round of shots and Barbara had that scary look on her face that always meant trouble.

Oh yeah, and Diana came along. It wasn't so bad when the other Justice League ladies were part of the party (like planned), but then Hawkgirl and Black Canary were called into duty last minute and all that was left was Diana. Because nothing could put her more at ease than her no-nonsense mentor sitting across from her at a male strip club.

How could this possibly get more embarrassing?

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for," the MC called through the PA system, "it's the first Friday of the month and that means … it's _Heroes Night!_"

Oh. No.

* * *

"Okay you have to admit — you had _fuuuuuuuuuuuuun_," Barbara said, opening another beer and trouncing back to the girls on the living room carpet. Everyone was still riding the adrenaline and alcohol from the club — plus post-club drinking.

"Yeah," Cassie smiled, the alcohol flowing nicely through her system, "It was okay."

"It looked more than okay when they finally got you on stage," Karen giggled.

"Well," she blushed, "Aquaman had really nice abs."

"Still mad they didn't have Blue Beetle," Barbara grumbled, "I should have asked about that."

"My favorite was still the Flash," Artemis grinned, taking another drink.

"Oh big surprise, Arty!" Zee laughed.

"Hey, he had red hair and the costume," Artemis pointed, swaying just a little, "That shit is like catnip to me. Sexy, sexy catnip."

"Speaking of," Raquel said as she finished her drink, "Are we going to talk about Diana?"

Barbara and Artemis started snickering while Cassie groaned. "Oh god, that was disturbing." She still had the image of Diana staring down the Batman stripper, licking her lips. He was the only dancer her mentor gave a single to, which he took with his teeth.

"What happened to Diana after?" Zee asked. "Please tell me someone got her a ride because she was as drunk as any of us."

"Barb and I caught her leaving towards the zeta tubes," Artemis smiled mischievously.

"Yeah," Barbara had a twin cheshire grin, "I'm pretty sure the Batman performer gave her ideas — the phrase 'booty call' was used."

The other girls gaped.

"But … who…"

"Let's just say," Barbara said, playing with a loose thread on the rug, "that she and I have had some early morning walk-pasts in the hallways of Wayne Manor."

Cassie groaned while the rest of the room broke out into squealish delight.

"Well," M'gann broke the laughter, "since you brought him up, Miss Barbara … how was your fake Nightwing lapdance?"

"I still can't believe that you two," Barbara jokingly accused at Zee and Raquel, "pointed to me when he asked for a volunteer."

"Hey now, I'm pretty sure it's not cheating if he's wearing the same costume," Zee said with a huge grin.

"He wasn't wearing the costume by the end," Barbara said with a discouraging look.

"Plus he did the same hip flick thing Dick is so good at," Zee said, her eyes glazed over just a little bit.

"Okay, while we're on the subject," Barbara said a little loudly, finishing her beer, "were you the one who taught him that hip thing?"

"Nope!" Raquel said, raising her glass, "That would be me!"

"Oh my goooooood!" Barbara said with a big drunk smile, "Thank you sooo much. You have _no_ idea how many times that move alone has gotten me o—"

"Hey I got an idea!" Cassie said quickly, "Let's change the subject to literally anything else than the boss' bedroom … stuff."

"I agree," Artemis said, taking another shot, "So Cassie … what's the Scarab like in bed?"

* * *

Jaime woke up to Bart's snoring from across the room. His teammates and general buddies were all passed out in sleeping bags or on the couches.

While Arsenal had said the party was way too tame for a stag, Jaime was relieved. Video games. Beer. Chicken Whizzies. His kind of party.

Yep, Bart had done a good job as his best man. Except underestimating how much his cousin could eat.

Stretching, Jaime got up and headed to the kitchen. He discovered the coffee already made and a certain teammate at the counter.

"Early breakfast, Hermano?" Jaime asked with a yawn.

"Hmm?" Wally looked up, the phone still on his ear. "Oh right, yeah. I was just checking my messages." He chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Um …" Wally bit his lip, looking torn between answering or not, "Well, Arty drunk dialed me a few times last night."

"Yeah?" He knew the girls were taking Cassie out to go dancing, but he didn't know the details.

"For one, she missed my sweet ass. Apparently. Also she's decided Nightwing needs to try out stripping."

"Oh … kay…" Jaime said, getting a little embarrassed. He grabbed a cup of coffee and started going back to the couches.

"Also apparently Cassie really likes that thing you and the Scarab do in bed," Wally called out.

Garfield woke up to Jaime sputtering coffee over him.


End file.
